Falling in love is the exciting part, but staying together is an effort. As life ebbs and flows, the safe space that was once our relationships takes a back seat. As time passes by, you start to feel disconnected from your partner, and you feel trouble on the horizon. Communication becomes difficult, and finding one on one time is hard. The more time passes, the more you feel distant from each other, the pain starts to set in.
When we feel disconnected, we start to fear losing the relationship. Our conversations are attempts to reconnect us, but all you hear is the increasing velocity and volume of the arguments. Or your partner is non-responsive to your bid to reconnect. You both are trying to navigate back to the love that once connected your love, but you feel unheard, ignored, dismissed, angry and lonely. You are left wondering, ‘Does he/she still care for me?’, ‘Do I mean something to him/her/?’.
If the story resonates with you, then Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) can help. EFT’s approach to a relationship is simple. Relationships are not about learning new communication skill or analysing your early childhood or making grand romantic gestures or experimenting with new sexual positions. EFT recognises that close relationship means you are emotionally attached. You are dependent on each other for a difficult moment, similar to a child relationship on their parent for caring, soothing, support and safety. When a child and parent separate, there is distress. When an adult feels disconnection, it also means they don’t feel the care, support, soothing or emotional safety from their partner; this causes distress in the relationship. EFT helps you navigate back to that emotional safety we all want in our relationship.
My name is Azah, and I am a relationships therapist. I am a counsellor/therapist for since 2011 and retrained as a relationships counsellor in 2014. I am trained in Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples. Additionally, EFT can also be used with individuals who have relationship concerns and families to mend broken bonds.
I am a Third Culture Kid which means, I lived my formative years outside my passport country. This means I have experience relationships in the Western and Eastern cultures. It is this experience coupled with EFT, is how I help you with your relationship concerns. I look forward to journeying with you to strengthen your bond with the people that matter to you most.
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