Seeing someone you care about struggle can leave you worried. You do not need to diagnose them. Your role is to listen, check their safety and help them reach the right mental health support.
Start with a calm, private talk
Choose a quiet time and explain what you have noticed. You could say, “You have seemed low lately, and I am worried about you. Would you like to talk?” Listen more than you speak. Avoid telling them to cheer up or comparing their pain with someone else’s.
Reassurance and support
A family member may fear shame, gossip or judgement, especially where mental health issues are rarely discussed. Reassure them that having a mental health problem is not a weakness. Ask what would help them feel safe and respected. Emotional support may mean sitting with them or helping with one phone call.
Help them find professional support
If there is no danger, suggest speaking to their GP. A GP can assess their needs, discuss treatment and refer them to a mental health professional. In England, many adults can also refer themselves to NHS talking therapies.
Helping with the process
You might find contact details, write down symptoms, book an appointment with their consent or go with them. Note major changes, such as poor sleep or hearing voices. Clear examples and communication can help a clinician understand what has been happening.
Don’t overstep
If they refuse help, stay in touch. Unless there is a risk of harm, an adult can decide whether to accept care. Do not use threats. You can still ask a GP or support service for advice, although they may not be able to share private information.
Know what to do in a mental health crisis
Take talk of suicide seriously. If someone mentions suicidal thoughts, ask in a kind way whether they plan to hurt themselves and whether they have the means to do so. Asking does not put the idea in their mind. It helps you judge how urgent the danger may be.
Risk to life
If their life is at risk, they have taken an overdose, badly hurt themselves, or you cannot keep them safe, call 999 or go to A&E. Stay with them if it is safe for you, and move medicines, weapons or other harmful items out of reach where you can do so safely.
Urgent support
For urgent help that is not an immediate emergency, call NHS 111 and select the mental health option. You can call for yourself or someone else. If the person already has a crisis team or care plan, use the contact details in that plan.
When does the Mental Health Act apply?
The Mental Health Act allows a formal assessment and, in limited cases, care without consent. It may be considered when a person has a mental disorder, needs urgent assessment or treatment, and there is a serious threat to their health or safety or to other people. It is not a tool for settling family disputes or making someone attend routine therapy.
Finding guidance
In England, the person’s nearest relative can ask the local approved mental health professional service for an assessment. Call the local council’s adult social care team for guidance. In an emergency, use 999 or NHS 111 instead.
Look after yourself too
Supporting someone can be tiring, frightening and lonely. Set limits on what you can offer and share the load with trusted people where consent allows. Carers support may include a local carer’s assessment, peer groups, advice lines and help from your GP. Looking after your own sleep, health and feelings is not selfish. It helps you offer steady support without becoming the only person responsible for their care.
Small actions matter. Listen without judgement, ask directly about safety and help the person take one manageable step towards skilled care. You cannot control every choice, but you can help them feel less alone.
