The first trimester of pregnancy can bring a mix of emotions, from joy and excitement to anxiety and uncertainty. In this personal account, we explore the emotional reality of early pregnancy, including fear, cultural pressures, and mental health challenges many women experience but rarely talk about.
Many women search for what the first trimester really feels like emotionally — this is one honest account.
Processing the Positive Test Result
We all start our journey into motherhood from different seasons. You might arrive here after careful cycles of timing and trying, ovulation sticks and planner in hand. Or maybe it was the last thing on your mind, and the shockwave has created a ripple in your life that you haven’t quite prepared for. Perhaps you might have already been through too much by this stage; your feelings have become incomprehensible because of every round you spent in the ring, fighting for your dream. Nothing can prepare you for the first glimpse of that surreal positive test result.
Fear, Secrecy and Cultural Pressures
After processing the news, some of us will know who to tell in our lives straight away, whereas others might find themselves torn about who to trust. They might feel conflicted about what to do next. This can be a difficult decision because, in the same body that we are holding our happiness, we are also holding a fear of losing our baby. That fear can arise for a number of reasons. Perhaps we know the pain of loss, so we are clenched and waiting for it to happen again. Maybe it’s too good to be true, or our cultural beliefs make us cautious about telling people who might be jealous of us. Then there’s also that unspoken rule that instructs us that telling people before 12 weeks is “too soon”. All of these things mean that we are left to process the changes that are happening in our bodies and lives without the support of people close to us.
Navigating Family, Food and Expectations
We might glance at our calendar with a sense of dread, looking at one or a number of events we need to attend. Many cultures have food at the centre of family events. That smell halfway down the street, or the strong waft that hits you at the door, might bring forth sickness instead of salivation. The beckoning of relatives, ushering you to the table to eat, was once a welcome display of love but now might be something you find irritating or anxiety-inducing. We feel pressured to come up with all kinds of excuses as to why we aren’t eating the amount we usually do; or maybe we can’t think of excuses, so we bite down and push through. Falling out of love with your culture’s language of love can be crushing. Perhaps we’d rather not be there, which saves us in one way but isolates us in another, as we scroll through pictures of the time we missed.
Body Changes and Confidence
By now, we could be more aware of the changes to our bodies. Whilst we’re not showing yet, we might feel bloated or our skin may be breaking out. Whatever is changing for us can have an effect on our confidence. Some of us will try and protect ourselves by staying away from people we feel unsafe around. We opt to be at home instead of in the clutches of people who feel its their duty to inform us of all of our imperfections.
Fatigue, Guilt and Slowing Down
If we are used to living in a very active body, the shock of being forced to slow down can be met with resistance for some of us. That endless wait to the 12-week mark feels longer when we are so tired that we can’t do much to pass the time. Perhaps we even feel guilty resting and lying down. Some of us will find this far from our normal behavior because we don’t feel as though we have earned it.
Conflicting Emotions in Early Pregnancy
Many of us will feel grateful, happy, and excited about our arrival. However, in the moments where the changes hit us hard, or the daily struggle becomes too much, we might find ourselves wishing we weren’t pregnant. For some of us, this growing thought could be a source of guilt. For others, it could be a nod to everything we miss about how our lives used to be. Giving these difficult feelings permission to sit with our less positive ones can be a challenge. Conflicted feelings might be followed by spells of low mood, and some of us could start to feel as though our happy pregnancy has been stolen away from us. When our hormones are changing so much, we might feel stuck on a emotional rollercoaster with nothing to hold on to and no way of getting off.
Sleep, Anxiety and Emotional Overload
How we are feeling mentally and physically can have a massive impact on our sleep. We might find ourselves being kept awake at night by racing thoughts, replaying non-existent scenarios in our heads, or heated conversations that haven’t happened. Perhaps we feel so sick that we can’t close our eyes, or no matter what we try, we seem to just keep waking up between unusual dreams that stay with us. The tiredness we feel can really impact our happiness, and being exhausted often goes hand in hand with feeling depressed. Some of us could see this seeping into our work lives, or home lives. Where we might have been calm before, we could be raging with a short temper or easily irritated as our patience wears thin. We might also suddenly be overwhelmed by the simplest tasks.
Learning to Rest and Let Go
When our bodies are focused on making a home for a baby, our capacity can be already stretched even before the day has started. This is a difficult truth for a lot of us to believe because we can’t physically see the work that our body is doing. However, even if it doesn’t feel natural for us, it’s important to give ourselves permission to rest and say no to the things we find hard. In doing so, we may find that when we nurture ourselves, we’re also nurturing our baby.
Support During Early Pregnancy
If you are experiencing anxiety, low mood, or emotional overwhelm during pregnancy, you are not alone. Speaking to a professional can help you process your experience in a safe and supportive space. You can explore our find a therapist directory to connect with someone who understands maternal mental health.
For additional guidance, you may also find support from trusted organisations such as
