Article by Nadiya H
Living at home as an adult can feel comforting and frustrating at the same time, especially when independence, boundaries, and expectations start to clash. These tips offer small, realistic ways to protect your sense of self and feel happier while you’re in this phase of life.
Our Guide for Adults Living at Home
1. Don’t Live For The Weekend
If you find yourself jumping between extremes by splashing out or living excessively over the weekend to compensate for the lack of freedom in the week, try and consider ways you can gain some balance. Where you can, give more to yourself in the week.
Finding Time For Yourself
For some people this could be seeing a friend in your lunch hour or after work. For others it could be going to the gym, taking up a new hobby, or even a solo cinema trip.
2. Work out how to regulate yourself
There might be moments where we feel completely overwhelmed with a situation at home. If you find the tension rising during an argument or you notice you’re burned out from taking on extra responsibilities, take some time to work out what regulates you.
Finding Calm
At the moment this could mean physically removing yourself from the room or the situation that’s affecting you. Once we are in a different space, we can help our minds find calm by relaxing our bodies. Some people find yoga, breathing or even a warm bath helpful. Others might feel more relaxed after a brisk walk or listening to their favourite playlist.
3. Be Kind, We’re Living In Hard Times
Social media can make us feel sad. Friends talk on WhatsApp, and our parents often compare us to others. This can affect our mood.
Finding Employment
This is especially true if you are out of work. Just remember that finding the right work for you that pays what it needs to isn’t always straightforward in the times that we live in and employment opportunities are very different from how our parents experienced them.
Be Kind To Yourself
If you ever find yourself putting yourself down about this, try and speak back to that voice like you would to a friend. We’re often kinder to our friends than we are to ourselves.
4. Cook a Meal You Like
If you love home food now and then but eating it daily gives you the ick, then take matters into your own hands. We don’t always want to eat the way our family does.
Reasons To Cook For Yourself
This could be for health reasons or even just preference. Find some time to enjoy the things that nourish you and who knows, the others may even like it too.
5. Chat To Your Inner Child
Sometimes being in our family home can entice us into being our childhood selves. Even though we’ve grown up or had time away and moved past the person we were, we can feel pushed back into the mould of our younger self.
Reflecting on Your Own Growth
If you notice an old argument playing out again, or that throw away comment that seems to stick with you, try and reflect on who you are now and how things are different. Step away from your default factory settings and remind yourself that your life experiences to date have given you an upgrade.
6. Set Boundaries With Space and Time
When we share space with our family, we can get stuck in thinking that we need to be available all day every day. It can feel like any spare moment where we’re not working or studying should always be on offer to others. It may not feel like it, but we can decide how much time we give.
Your Choice
You have the right to choose when to see people even if you live with them and its okay to be clear about needing time alone in your room or out with friends. Equally, if you are out and are receiving multiple calls or texts about where you are, how many of these you decide to answer is up to you.
View our previous article on setting boundaries.
7. Take Some Time To Visualise Your Next Step
Try and think about how and when you see yourself leaving. What does your new home look like? Will you be on your own or will someone be there with you? How will you make it your own?
Planning for Your Future
You can even draw this visually or create a mood board. If you can’t see any specifics because it just feels so far in the distance and you don’t know where to start, try and think about how you would like to feel when you leave, what would it be like to be in a new space?
8. Talk to Someone Who Understands
It can be difficult to find people who can truly understand the situation you’re in. They might not get the issues you have day to day or perhaps the cultural context that keeps you where you are.
Talking to someone may not change your situation, but it could help you feel less alone with it. You might find the support you need to feel happier living at home or gain back your confidence, so you are ready to take the next steps. You can find a therapist in our directory here.
Conclusion
Living at home as an adult doesn’t mean you’re standing still, even if it can feel that way at times. By making small, intentional changes, being kinder to yourself, and seeking support when you need it, you can create a sense of balance and confidence that helps you feel happier now while gently preparing for whatever comes next.
